American Wiener
– Don Knotts – “Dick Douglas”
Always on the look-out for smugglers and evil-doers, he’s a
Dick to be reckoned with. Paranoia is his modus operandi, racial profiling
is his most trusted tool. Don’t try to sneak anything illegal
or immoral by on this cop’s watch, or he’ll call in Uncle
Sam for a “meat inspection”.
Twenty-one You're Dead
– Jason Alexander – “Rod the Dealer”
Rod is the coolest blackjack dealer this side of Vegas. He's got looks,
charm, and a winning attitude at the table. Can he teach a bumbling
loser like Jack [through song] what it takes to be a successful croupier?
The stakes are high when he makes a bet with the casino Boss that
he can.
Jack Ryder and the Fountain
of Life – Molly Parker – “Alberta Jones”
Focused, determined, erudite, serious - Alberta is everything her
ex-boyfriend Jack Ryder is not. Her lifelong obsession has been her
search for the lost matriarchal civilization called Wu so she can
prove once and for all that men are the inferior species. With Jack
as her new research assistant, she may just get her chance.
The Temp the Slut the
Queen and her Corgis – Sean Cullen – “Neville”
The man in charge of keeping all of Her Majesty's clocks in right
working order, Neville himself is order incarnate - exacting, precise,
and punctual to a fault. When force-of-nature Jack Ryder is sent to
work for him, chaos is unleashed and Neville himself is left questioning
Queen and Country. But when Big Ben gets busted, Neville must step
up and save the realm.
Dragon Dueler –
Harland Williams – “Black Ralph”
Some would say that Ralph goes against the grain of the stereotypical
construction worker - that rather than being merely macho and misogynist
he is civilized and sensitive. These people would be wrong. As head
of the construction crew Ralph can out-macho any of his men. Likewise,
when Jack imagines him as the Knight "Black Ralph", he remains
the same bullying chauvinist bastard, only with a medieval lilt.
The Big Dump –
John Goodman – “Billy-Bob / Bobby-Bill”
The Garbage Czar is white trash with a passion for refuse. He likes
nothing better than a nice mess and the smell of a roaring tire fire.
He dreams of creating "cities of garbage". But just what
kind of perverse relationship does he have with his trashy daughter?
And what kind of even more perverse relationship does he have with
his trashy brother? It appears you can take the czar out of the trailer
park, but you can't take the trailer-park out of the czar.
Twenty-Nine and a Half
– Christian Slater – “Agent Brody”
Agent Brody is a hard-core member of an anti-terrorist squad who will
stop at nothing [including the torture of inanimate objects] to protect
his country from danger, real or perceived. This time, it's mad cows
who threaten to wreak global havoc. Agent Brody is on their tails,
but are these genius cows too diabolical to corral? And may he in
fact be crazier than the cows?
A Candidacy of Dunces
– Jerry Stiller – “Jim McDonald”
Jim McDonald, Mayoral candidate, is an expert incumbent and as "old
school" as they come. His race is creaking along until Jack injects
some young blood into his tired campaign. Can Jack turn this old codger
into a young hipster in time to turn the race around? Things looks
good until Jim becomes so "youthful" he drops out of the
race to hang out with Jack's friends and date Jack’s sister.
The Man Who Smelled Too
Much – Don Lake – “Anton Beaujolais”
Hailing from a long line of sensitive schnozzes, Anton is Master Perfumer
for The Sniffe Shoppe. His delicate proboscis has helped create some
of the finest scents of our time. He's pretentious, spoiled, and abusive
- everything a master artiste should be. But can he handle a little
competition from a talented up-and-coming Nose without making too
big a stink?
Jack Ryder Gets Hitched
/
My Big Miserable African Honeymoon
– Sandra Oh – “Vanessa Christianson”
Vanessa Christianson is one of the kindest, most helpful people you'll
ever meet, always willing to feed, clothe, or de-louse another human
being. As an empathetic social worker, she can talk you back from
the edge or down from the ledge. So how on earth did she become Mrs.
Jack Ryder? And will her insatiable drive to do good put her and her
new hubby in grave danger on their African honeymoon [full of minefields
to clear, lepers to bathe, and warlords to overthrow]?